post-Exclusive - mushguide

Today you are reborn, but a presently you are dying in the snow. Your name is SAMMY F. You are cold, scared, alone, and you might've invited a witch into your head. What will you do? [INPUT COMMAND IN [Info's Bedroom] OR @Info DMs WITH >your command] (edited)

>smell the snow The snow smells like water which is to say not much. Mostly right now, you smell blood witch you happen to be losing a lot of. Maybe you should make a prayer to that which that might've gained access to your thoughts. Sometimes think typos on purpose maybe confusing for others? You pray to her for safety. You have a feeling you will be ending up in a hospital, where you will need to have a last name. What is it? SUBMIT NAME

>GRAVY EATER just a nickname...not real name...Your REAL name is SANDWICH FUCKER. You are nearly 3 years old, which also happens to be how many times born you're about to be. Today You Are Reborn but presently you are dead in the woods. You sh

10:15 am

HREY WAIT A SECOND. Your REAL name is SAMMY FALSE and you need some help. You need to be that witch because a dead pile of bones can't really resurrect itself.

>be *that* witch You are now *that* witch. Oh no! Not only has a member of your coven just died, you also have to choose between allowing the death of 5 or choosing for the death of 1! What will you do?

>leave switch, stomp solitary individual's head into splat Now you have 7 fresh ~~corpses~~ faces to add to your coven. Although that dog seemed pretty important. We should probably see what she's up to.

>look at dog >resurrect self thru sheer willpower You're alive again! While you are now a skeleton, you have still died and come back to life; Today you are Reborn!!

4:42 am

???: DEAR SANDWICH FUCKER. HELLO I LOVE YOU AND WELCOME TO (MY) THE COVEN OF SUPREME WITCH BITCH DEBBY D SUE. 
GOOD JOB REBIRTHING YOURSELF. IVE WATCHED YOU FOR A WHILE NOW--

sam: i know IVE seen u watching

supreme witch bitch: DON'T INTERRUPT ME@@@ ANYWAY ONE OF YOUR SISTERS IS IN TROUBLE AND YOU HAVE TO SAVE HER WITH YOUR BONES AND I'LL BE GUIDE YOU THROUGH EVERY step OF THE WAY. HER NAME IS TRISH AND YOU GOTTA ADMIT YOURSELF TO THE NEAREST MENTAL HOSPITAL TO MEET HER.

sam: ok ty supreme witch bitch ilysm sry for interrupting xoxo

deb: GET FUCKING GOING. <3 . 
p.s. u can just call me deb

>examine coven You're not exactly sure how you would examine the coven...you guess you could ask Deb about it but you're this dog right now and you really have to find the nearest mental ward...and maybe your clothes from earlier...

12:04 pm

deb: THE COVEN IS THAT YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOUR FRIEND YOU HAVE YET TO MEET OR THE NEXT TIME YOU DIE WHICH WILL BE SOON YOU WONT WAKE UP. BECAUSE I WILL MAKE SURE OF IT;3 ;3. NOW GET GOING and find your clothes or something.

You're beginning to feel human again...this is not comfortable...

>follow road north The passing of time (and cars) makes you uncomfortable in the same way clothes and flesh and humanity creep your bones...You think it's probably a good time to call deb and ask for help.

1:42 pm

deb: OK SO what you're going to want to do is throw yourself in front of the next car you see because suicidal tendencies lead to ambulances or psych wards or WHATEVER and then you can meat your friend!:3

sam: but i thought you said i had to admit myself deb: im a liar somtimes ;3;3;3 sam: what if i dent their car deb: it'll make a good story

dent car!!??

>am i dead or still kicking

???: Hi! Welcome back to the waking world! or more specifically, the EMERGENCY ROOM! You have FUCKING died and, well, basically you're alive again. You are going to be admitted for psych evaluation because, hehe, well it seems you're in here because of an attempted suicide. 
Anyways don't forget to save your friend! gl;hf;3

1:02 pm

> remember friend's name but first, check out sweet er room It appears...ominous...You think maybe your eyes are all fucked up or something maybe after jumping into that car. You don't know which friend's name you are trying to remember.

>inspect tv IT'S YOUR FAVORITE SHOW !!! little pony !!! and your favorite one is on the screen !!!

>turn on the juggalo channel >whoop whoop

8:07 am

It's censored...they changed it 2 the "Clown Channel"...

8:11 am

Anyway you have to go get checked out by the shrink so they're sending you in.

8:11 am

What do you even tell her?

>"well, i got hit by a car and it seems like that's a bad thing, so what's up with that"

"You did get hit with a car! Very bad for your health. The driver told us you jumped out at him." "yeah um. i was receiving some psychic telecommunications from a witch who told me that i need to check myself into a mental hospital to save my friend. i also am presently under the belief that i'm a talking dog and you're a bunny girl." She jotted some things down in her notebook. "OK. Hwould you like to take some pills for us?:3"

>wake up >wake up >wake up! oh geez...i was out for a while, huh...

>eat a cereal yreah o.k. should probly do that. time go downstairz!

1:58 am

2:00 am

You eat a cereal. It is a bright new day. There is no hospital. There is no witch. Try to remember.

2:00 am

PUTTING MUSHGUIDE ON indefinite hiatus until '>remember' which will be a multipart update and the end of the comic!

Info pinned a message to this channel. 31/08/2020 5:33 pm

sammy wakes up and tries to remember. she remembers everything for a moment, and then suddenly afterwards she forgets all of it, like years of a dream that you can't recall seconds after you wake up. she walks outside and continues to try to remember. this walk might be a long one

6:40 pm

Today you've remembered but presently you need to actually go through the memorys in conversation to make any sense of them. Your name is SAMMY FALSE. You have walked for say, a couple dozen miles, and now have seen a vision of clouds in a desert. What will you do? [INPUT COMMAND IN #binnie-room-2-5-casey OR @Info DMs WITH >your command]

>Search the clouds for memories you're not finding see any memories, but you have found a face you can remember

1:12 am

doggie hammer brain explode (cum inside)

so i have about 3 sets of chords i really want to use a lot of but im afraid i dont know what well happen exactly

11:47 am

i want to stop pretending to come alive to stop alive to become pretending

11:48 am

xcv

11:48 am

i want total control over my course except for when im wrong

11:49 am

i feel stared at while invisible, invisible while stared at? i feel delusional<3 i miss the feeling of both safety and unknown feeling od the future that came with being in hospitals & highschool.. i feel like a combination of things that is capable of pushing buttons to activate functions. i feel as though i am not ready for anyrhing that has already happened despite feeling as though i led myself to exactly where i want to be without expecting it to work. i miss being unknown unknown i wamt to be invisibly speaking to a set of instrumentsthatimfriendzwith i want to do the same thing over and over until its perfect i want to see the earth from the moon outside of in a drawing of a dream ive now forgotten. i want to feel whole and empty without the confusion and weight of rhe world dragging on my skull. i think the only thing i want to do right now is experience needles i wanna get two important tattoos really bad i miss not knowimg how good i am at beimg embarassed

11:49 am

11:51 am

i miss not knowing how infectious embarassedment has been and seemingly will be forever until something else happens

11:53 am

i feel exactly like jerry and his friends on their christmas adventure but mostly like the pony who didnt have the option to speak until the magic came true

11:54 am

see you in the spring everypony! whoosh

Today you recovered from the hangover of your third birthday party. You are very very very tired of this story you have been living in. Let's try to REMEMBER what that strange face in the clouds spoke to you. SAMMY: umm CASEY: hello :3 SAMMY: ... what are you CASEY: im you're god!!~ i am the one who cursed you to fall into the hands of the witch! i Flung you into the face of eternal tragedy only to show that you're strong enough to crawl your dumb self out of it! i birthed your conception of myself in a shitty freeware to post to an even shittier blogging website! i hate being am you almost as much as you wish you fucking wish you were me. SAMMY: Ohhh... I'm Your Mary Sue CASEY: no shut up im my own mary sue. SAMMY: W. Why do you look like a nurse CASEY: oh let me just ...

4:59 am

SAMMY: QWEGGY!!!! KOEGGE: SAMMY!!!!!! SAMMY: OMG OMG. WHO WAS THAT? KOEGGE: a better question might be: 'Who am I?' SAMMY: umm. DUH. i know who you are. you're koegge, the witchnurse from the hopsital! KOEGGE: Well obviously... i Meant who you are, you asking Who am I? SAMMY: well i'm sammy false, of course. KOEGGE: this is not your true name. you have been lied to by ourselves and most epsecially your witchmom, debby. our last names can only contain 4 letters, dont'cha know? your name is SAMMY FACE. short for SAMMY FALSE FACE. SAMMY: ... KOEGGE: we need to get on with the memory sequence, do you remember when i did your intake? SAMMY: of course!

4:59 am

TRY to REMEMBER: the beginning of your hospital stay

10:07 am

I am presently troubled by my work on this story. I believe it is time, in the manner of one of my esteemed predecessors, to write a recap. Unlike this predecessor, I will extend this to include a (hopefully) faithful account of now until the ending. I have been thinking of the ending for a couple years now, with large plans and little in the means of actual progress. Well! We're finally in the hospital, so I must suppose that's a step in the right direction. I will not tell of the ending in too much of detail, so as to keep some mystique about it.

Mushguide begins with Sammy F, first named 'Sammy False', then revealed to have had a false name, being truly named 'Sammy False Face'. She was revived by an evil witch who stomps people's heads for fun. The witch's name is 'Debby C'. Her full name is 'Debby Snack Cake'. 

The witch tells Sammy that she must get hit by a car so as to appear suicidal. She has to appear suicidal so she can meet the rest of her witch's coven in the mental ward, but more importantly to save one of the witches who's in trouble.

Then, a whole lot of time passed while I managed to forget about the comic. Once I got back to work, Sammy met her 'God', Author Casey. Casey's last name is 'Vizn', rhymes with 'mission'. Casey Appeared initially as a face in a cloud, then as a cloud-shaped person in a burger shop, then as her friend, a witch named 'Koegge'. 'Koegge' rhymes with 'leggy' and has been phonetically spelled as 'Qweggy'. She is the second highest ranking witch.

10:08 am

Now. The recap's over, so it's time for the rest of the story to be told in short. I am not putting it in spoilers, but you can feel free to skip it if you want. That goes for the the recap, as well, but. if you're here already. I guess it's too late.

10:08 am

Sammy enters the hospital. She has her vitals taken (heartrate, bloodpressure, temperature). Everyday she is awoken at 6:30a.m. to have her vitals taken again. In the afternoon, before dinnertime, she also has them taken. Above is shown what the vital machines look like.

In the hospital, she is quickly able to make a number of friends. Below are some of them. Beaury is the name of the one she has to save. Johnny wants to kill a cop.

Betsy is not so much of a friend as an acquaintance or maybe even less, the person to whom she is assigned to receive drugs from. 

If this were a more honest story it would be so that the drugs negate the power of the magic of the witches, as I felt that all feelings of the magic of the world left me as I took anti-psychotics. This is not an honest story.

10:09 am

Now about what happens. There is a witch (Beaury) who is so magically powerful, that in feelings of grief and torture he creates a tornado with his mind. This tornado lifts up the entire hospital, and it's up to the rest of the witches to protect everyone within. Debby, being the most powerful witch, uses her power to make sure the hospital lands about where it was unearthed from. 

Here is an image of the hospital in the air

10:09 am

10:10 am

The ending is supposed to be real special. Only the crazys are to know what actually happened, and since the witch is the head nurse, she's able to just let them all go. Maybe the hospital lands facing a different direction and the normal orderlies aren't too sure of themselves leaving. But there's a real feeling of anmity with the loons. That sort of anmity is such a lovely feeling in real life, the only real redeeming quality of being institutionalized. 

Anyway, I better get on with the rest of the story.

10:10 am

10:11 am

KOEGGE: MEOW MEOW meow meow meow meow-- I MEAN. Can i haz ur vitals?:3 SAMMY: of course!!! have we met b4?? KOEGGE: not quite...u may have some psycho-memorys of me as i am a witch in your new coven!! SAMMY: OMG!! poggers!! when's lunch? KOEGGE: im afraid u missed it deary<3 dinner is at 5:30p.m. Sammy looked at the clock. it was 2:00 SAMMY: is there snackxsz? KOEGGE: yes ofc!! Koegge showed Sammy to the snackroom. Lil Debby Snack Cakes grabbed her attention. She ate lots.

an anthro dog is laying in its dogbed shaped bed. a large area around where the dog's head lies is covered in snot. the dog has been sneezing. it is focused on a laptop computer on which its paws are tapping away at.

-i love myself. i embarrass myself. i hate myself. i don't really, at least not for very long. it sure does hurt though.
-i have a typing disorder, i have a posting disorder, i have no disorders.
-i enjoy the disconnect. i enjoy looking away from lights. i benefit from cartwheels
-i have normal thoughts about being a boy. i have normal thoughts about other boys. i have normal thoughts about love.*
-the world i live in is beautiful. the world i live in is scary. the world i live in is getting smaller. the world i live in is getting bigger.
-the things that keep me together are other people, music, water, food, tobacco. too much conversation, not enough physicality. too much tobacco, not enough to really get me going.

the dog has finished writing, and is considering what this is, if it's finished, where it belongs, the method it will use of distributing or sharing what it has written. it considers a great deal. it starts to remember something.

while i do speak from the heart, honest to what i believe, about that which i should be regarded as highest expert on, i am starting to have doubts about the sincerity of this writing.
i have started to notice that i am a cartoon dog. i have begun to get the feeling that my existence is disputable. i am aware that i am a voice for which something else, something more real, to speak for it; i exist for something with quantifiably more multitudes to speak through.
i am also aware--as i am a part of the multitudes, i can see the others--that there are parts of this something else that contradict each other. i am aware that i am the favorite, though it feels wrong to be the favorite, and i can tell that it feels wrong for it to have a favorite.

2:27 pm

it decides this is a letter it is sending to the cat. it formats this into a letter, first by adding "dear koegge" to the top and "xxx sammy" at the bottom it makes a plan for an introduction, a transitional section, and an ending. it makes a consideration about the part about the multitudes. it feels as though it was downplaying who koegge is. it has decided to write the outro first.

2:28 pm

that which contains us, me and you, sammy and koegge, doggy and kitty. that which has given us life. that which seeks to take life from us. that which uses our voices when it feels its own voice does not suit what it needs to say. when it is afraid of speaking. when it feels disconnected from its own self. oh my fucking god, dude it's not my fault. is it the dog's fault the human doesnt know what feels right for the dog to say? im not fucking sorry. 
koegge. it feels so strange to write to you or talk to you. we have such a deep connection it feels like a waste of time to put it to words. everything i share with you feels like you already know it. it feels like telling you about this shit is just going to bore you. it feels like im just putting on a show, it feels like im being pulled by strings. not like it ever doesnt. 
that interpretation feels wrong too, though. even if it feels like performance. even if it is performance. our conversation is worthwhile. even if it weren't for the performance of it. 
the previous paragraphs have been my working up to apologize to you on behalf of our creator. what gives me the right to apologize for such a being? of course we both know the answer. i'm his favorite. that's starting to feel like a lie. because i think you might be the favorite. but he has an easier time talking through me. that's for sure.
what is he apologizing for? i'm glad you've asked. calling me his favorite. 
i love you. 
xxx
sammy f

2:28 pm

PS
*jokes can be embarrassing--even if they're well received--for what they reveal. sometimes my jokes seem like they're hiding something.
what are normal thoughts about being a boy, normal thoughts about other boys, normal thoughts about love? does frequency in other imply normalcy? how far into the past are we drawing from to create our data for what we consider normal? what tools are we using to avoid bias?
that's potentially a lot of work to figure out a setting on my washing machine. maybe it's funny because it's a word with a lot of possible interpretations, most of which avoid describing me.
P.P.S.
i have a copy of a picture for u :3

having written the outro it considers the transition and the intro it still needs to write. it looks over what it has written.

Dear Koegge,
Hi koegge!!! :3 how are u doing omg whats up im about to get heavy as fuck and it's going to hurt me and i hope it doesnt hurt at all for you. i dont think it will but i care so much. i wrote a poem in the form of a list. let's get right into it.

Alright. Having written a letter without a transitional section, it feels complete. At least, after she titles the poem "Feelings (in The Form of a List)" The transitional section was unnecessary. What it decides is necessary, is a picture Koegge once took of it looking, lovestruck, at Debby C. It's a cute picture. It puts the contents into an envelope, licks it to seal it up, and writes some geographic information on it in addition to the name Koegge Clue. (edited)

2:29 pm

koegge receives a letter. it reads:

Dear Koegge,
Hi koegge!!! :3 how are u doing omg whats up im about to get heavy as fuck and it's going to hurt me and i hope it doesnt hurt at all for you. i dont think it will but i care so much. i wrote a poem in the form of a list. let's get right into it.
-
Feelings in the form of a list
-i love myself. i embarrass myself. i hate myself. i don't really, at least not for very long. it sure does hurt though.
-i have a typing disorder, i have a posting disorder, i have no disorders.
-i enjoy the disconnect. i enjoy looking away from lights. i benefit from cartwheels
-i have normal thoughts about being a boy. i have normal thoughts about other boys. i have normal thoughts about love.*
-the world i live in is beautiful. the world i live in is scary. the world i live in is getting smaller. the world i live in is getting bigger.
-the things that keep me together are other people, music, water, food, tobacco. too much conversation, not enough physicality. too much tobacco, not enough to really get me going.
-

1:01 pm

while i do speak from the heart, honest to what i believe, about that which i should be regarded as highest expert on, i am starting to have doubts about the sincerity of this writing.
i have started to notice that i am a cartoon dog. i have begun to get the feeling that my existence is disputable. i am aware that i am a voice for which something else, something more real, to speak for it; i exist for something with quantifiably more multitudes to speak through.
i am also aware--as i am a part of the multitudes, i can see the others--that there are parts of this something else that contradict each other. i am aware that i am the favorite, though it feels wrong to be the favorite, and i can tell that it feels wrong for it to have a favorite.

1:01 pm

that which contains us, me and you, sammy and koegge, doggy and kitty. that which has given us life. that which seeks to take life from us. that which uses our voices when it feels its own voice does not suit what it needs to say. when it is afraid of speaking. when it feels disconnected from its own self. oh my fucking god, dude it's not my fault. is it the dog's fault the human doesnt know what feels right for the dog to say? im not fucking sorry. 
koegge. it feels so strange to write to you or talk to you. we have such a deep connection it feels like a waste of time to put it to words. everything i share with you feels like you already know it. it feels like telling you about this shit is just going to bore you. it feels like im just putting on a show, it feels like im being pulled by strings. not like it ever doesnt. 
that interpretation feels wrong too, though. even if it feels like performance. even if it is performance. our conversation is worthwhile. even if it weren't for the performance of it. 
the previous paragraphs have been my working up to apologize to you on behalf of our creator. what gives me the right to apologize for such a being? of course we both know the answer. i'm his favorite. that's starting to feel like a lie. because i think you might be the favorite. but he has an easier time talking through me. that's for sure.
what is he apologizing for? i'm glad you've asked. calling me his favorite. 
i love you. 
xxx
sammy f

1:02 pm

PS
*jokes can be embarrassing--even if they're well received--for what they reveal. sometimes my jokes seem like they're hiding something.
what are normal thoughts about being a boy, normal thoughts about other boys, normal thoughts about love? does frequency in other imply normalcy? how far into the past are we drawing from to create our data for what we consider normal? what tools are we using to avoid bias?
that's potentially a lot of work to figure out a setting on my washing machine. maybe it's funny because it's a word with a lot of possible interpretations, most of which avoid describing me.
P.P.S.
i have a copy of a picture for u :3

1:02 pm

Koegge has many thoughts about the letter. Koegge has trouble talking sometimes. Koegge must read the letter several times in order to compose her response.

1:02 pm

Dearest Sandwich Fucker,
Omg. Omg ok. You covered a lot of ground. I must take my time in giving you full credit for a job well done of composing a lovely letter, a beautiful letter, a powerful letter, and a letter with qualities that cannot fully described in even a particularly listful sentence. I applaud you for what you've taken the time to share with me. Proceeding, I would like to respond on a smaller scale, with a bigger picture in mind
I forgive our shared holder. It's hard not to, when you, that which it most often speaks through, say that that I might be the favorite. I believe you, because I've gotten a sense of that as well. It very well may be true. I have something to say, I believe the three of us can relate to--especially in regards to ranking people: Who needs a favorite?
Continuing onwards in responding with specificity. Could you tell me what you mean when you say you feel the world you live in is getting both smaller and bigger? I think I understand, but your words will assist in that. We can't have our performance be one with important parts left unexplored, can we?
Since I have our audience's attention for now, I'll reckon a response. Our loveliest of hosts has experienced something more beautiful than he had ever before. Traveling with someone who helped him get out of his shell. Growing in love, growing as a person, growing to be without fear.
It feels very funny to be even referring to our master of ceremonies, our doer of deeds, our host with the most. It feels funny to be on a boat and for it to have a name and to be able to tell it things and for it to be able to tell you things. It feels funny to be writing you, when my utterances are so infrequent. 
I grow weary of writing. I am exiting my quarters and heading for the wheel to go and speak with you. I will not distract you from your sacred duty of steering our ship, but I will keep you company. 
I love you.
    Koegge Clue

1:02 pm

The fat blue kitty cat corrects a word she miswrote in the final paragraph (from weary of speaking to weary of writing) and places down the paper and heads out of her quarters, upstairs, out the door to greet the ocean and the sky, and upstairs once more towards the steering wheel. She greets the dog. She hugs the dog. She kisses the dog. What could any of this mean?

Please keep your eyes on me
Keep your eyes on me
Keep your eyes on me
There’s nothing but us in this place

Keep your eyes on me
Please keep your eyes on me
Keep your eyes on me
Together’s so nice in the darkest place

I’m so glad to have you here
I just want your undivided attention
Please don’t shy away from my gaze
You’re in good hands
I’ll keep you safe

I know you’re confused
I know you’re afraid
Please try to relax
It’ll be ok
If you want, I'll put my hand into your soul
I’ll take control

5:30 pm

I know you’re confused
I know that you’re scared
I know you feel so empty still
I could make it so easy
Be an extension of my will

Please don’t look away
Please don’t feel afraid
I know that
I'm different
I know our bodies are not the same
I know I’m a demon
I’m a devil
I’m a monster
But it would feel so great
I could empty out your pain
With my darkness waves

Let me clear out your mind
You’ll feel just fine
Every one / of your movements would be mine
I know that your body
Feels heavy
But you’d be so weightless
Me pulling your strings
Lifting you
You’d know exactly what to do
I’d feed you the lines
You’d feel just fine
Let me empty out your mind

It's ok

[The previous update takes place before any of the events of mushguide.]